Authenticity in Leadership

Last week, a single friend who is using online dating services to find new friends told me that she changed her profile picture to one in which she was not wearing glasses and that she was now getting much more interest.

Then, on Tuesday during our Thriving Between Jobs gathering, our group talked about job hunting “strategies” that are being promoted by speakers and coaches at various events they are attending. These “strategies” include concealing aspects of the job seeker’s personal attributes that will be unattractive to a hiring manager for as long as possible -- attributes such as having young children at home or being over 40 years old.

These stories made me sad. Sure, the strategies above work. My dating friend has even met a man who did the same thing – and now they both happily wear their glasses with each other. But I wonder what a price we are all paying by expecting people to deny who they really are in order to be successful.

People who have young children at home are raising our future – the next generation. Their families give meaning and texture to the work that we do. Stories from their families enrich the workplace. And connections made from their children’s friends’ parents add to the network of people who make our employees and companies successful.

People who are over 40 years of age have rich life experience that broaden their perspectives and give them wisdom that benefits the workplace. Skills and talents have been developed and perfected over time. They have seen challenges and even crises in the past that enable them to exhibit composure and stable thinking in the midst of difficulty. They are the leaders, the teachers, and the mentors in the workplace.

People who wear glasses or leg braces or diabetic monitors or any other device that enable them to function more comfortably are no less worthy or attractive. Deciding someone is not a good match for these reasons cheats both people from the opportunity to make what could be a solid and beautiful relationship. And hiding these attributes forces people to begin a relationship in a disingenuous manner.

Which all makes me think about the courage it takes to be true to who we are, to simply be ourselves, to be authentic. It seems worth it to me -- we will be much more accepting of others if we first accept ourselves as we are. And, we can be more creative and innovative when we are no longer guarding what others know of us.

An authentic person is a leader who brings all of her/himself to every situation she confronts. She has access to all of her experience, both positive and negative, to equip her/him to deal with daily situations. S/he welcomes the diversity of the people around her/him and leverages that diversity to create new realities.

Questions to ponder: What traits do I have that I hide from others? How might I be freer if I accepted these traits and became more authentic? Are there traits in others that I judge harshly? How can I begin to see others for who they are, independent of superficial traits?