Who, me?

So often, when something goes wrong, we want to run and point away from ourselves. And when others' fingers point to us, we want to say, "Who, me?" In blame-centered families and business cultures, it is not uncommon to see loved ones or professionals "throwing people under the bus", a term used to describe casting blame for a problem on a person or team, sometimes destroying careers and confidence in the process.

When we function in a culture like this, we live in fear and often join the finger-pointing to protect ourselves. This behavior continues and intensifies the blame culture ... and the dissatisfaction and unhappiness that often attends this culture.

Breaking out of the blame cycle takes strength -- and true leadership. One step is to acknowledge one's strengths and the strengths of others in the family or team, aligning those strengths so that weaknesses are irrelevant. When people are doing what they are truly good at, their confidence level is higher and the fear factor dissipates.

Another step is to readily admit when a mistake has been made and to offer remedial steps -- before anyone else can point a finger. Noting the problem early and accepting responsibility for it sets an example for others, minimizes the need to point fingers, and enables the focus to move to corrective action, which is much more productive and uplifting.

In his article, Self Awareness and the Effective Leader, Chris Musselwhite discusses the importance of being self aware, of recognizing weaknesses and leveraging others to compensate for them, of admitting one's own mistakes and moving on, and getting other people's feedback and impressions of your effectiveness.

Being self aware will liberate us from ever adopting a "Who, me?" attitude and will empower us, and others, to focus on productive pursuits free of fear of failure and blame.

Questions to ponder:  When do I find myself running away from blame? What do I do to promote a "blame culture" in my family or work unit? Are there areas of my life that I can accept responsibility for something gone wrong, right now? If I did, what would happen?