As I was considering the questions Janet posed in our last post about having the courage to do what we need to do, I began to think about the many people who are between jobs right now and the courage it takes to face the difficult situations that are now part of our careers.
This era of economic collapse and gross unemployment is ripe with surprisingly inappropriate behavior.
It is commonplace for people who are between jobs to talk with hiring managers and recruiters alike, then never hear from them again … to place follow-up calls or email messages and receive no response. It could be argued that the sheer volume of people looking for work is so great that those in a position to hire don’t have the bandwidth to respond. I’d like to think that, when I was in that position, I would not have treated others this way; but, it is perhaps understandable.
Then, there are the amazing stories:
… a veteran, Ph.D professor looking for a position in the business world is greeted by a recruiter who leans back in the chair and begins the interview with, “So, WOW me!”
… a hiring manager about to negotiate salary with a highly accomplished prospective employee who looks at the candidate’s income history and says, “Well, I am about to get you for quite a deal!”
… an employment event targeted at “senior executives seeking new positions” is held at a movie theater where the organizers begin half an hour late, herding the executive attendees like cattle to stand in a cramped area until the organizers get their act together.
… a former CFO who was asked to tell the interviewer what part of the salad he was and why.
These types of stories, and more, create feelings of fear, anger, umbrage, hopelessness and powerlessness in the hearts of many talented and experienced professionals.
Friends and I have discussed this recurring phenomenon. One, a former psychologist, commented on the role of pride in these interactions – the pride of both the interviewers and the interviewees. Interviewers are seeking to inflate their own self images by grandstanding and condescending during interviews; interviewees react defensively and respond by either withdrawing from the interview (figuratively or actually) or by inflating their own accomplishments in order to demonstrate their self worth.
Another friend told me the story of an acquaintance who was preparing a talk for a group of peers. While focusing on how to share his vast knowledge with them, he was inspired by the thought that his talk didn’t need to show how good he was, it needed to focus on showing his audience how good they were!
It occurred to me that we could “change the face . . . “ of human interactions if we could somehow gain confidence from our life experience and accomplishments, put aside our own pride, and focus on how we can help others see how good they are!
During one of our “THRIVING Between Jobs” gatherings, we brainstormed how this might look in reality.
We began to realize that people who ask insulting interview questions really didn’t know how to interview in a way that got them the information they needed to make the most effective hiring decision…and that many of those interviewees who had to answer these insulting questions were highly experienced hiring managers who could help the interviewers in their hiring process by putting their pride aside and bringing the richness of their own experience to the interaction:
… when asked to “WOW me”, we might sit forward enthusiastically and respond: “I would love to! I suspect that, in order to WOW you, I will need to demonstrate to you that I meet or exceed every requirement you have for this position. So, let me begin by confirming with you what you are looking for, then I will tell you how well I satisfy each and every requirement you have!”
… when asked what part of the salad we were, we might smile and say, “You probably want to determine how creative I am and how well I will function as a team member. From that perspective, I would probably be a tomato, which is classified as both a fruit and a vegetable and, therefore, very versatile, functioning in either role depending on what was demanded in a specific situation.”
… when a salary offer is significantly below our past income and the hiring manager is clumsy enough to boast about it, we might inspire them by suggesting, “and it is my intention to prove my value to you and the rest of the organization so that, when the economy improves, you will be eager to reward me with a more appropriate salary”.
Similarly, those event organizers may have been a bit intimidated by hosting such an august group of senior executives. When it was clear that the organizers were in over their heads, attendees might have offered to lend their experience and give them a hand.
Armed with this kind of an attitude, can’t you just wait until you are asked to “WOW me”?!
Question to ponder:
Think of a time in the recent past that you have experienced and undignified “WOW me” situation. Did you respond defensively? How do you feel about the way you handled it? How would you change your response after reading this post?
This era of economic collapse and gross unemployment is ripe with surprisingly inappropriate behavior.
It is commonplace for people who are between jobs to talk with hiring managers and recruiters alike, then never hear from them again … to place follow-up calls or email messages and receive no response. It could be argued that the sheer volume of people looking for work is so great that those in a position to hire don’t have the bandwidth to respond. I’d like to think that, when I was in that position, I would not have treated others this way; but, it is perhaps understandable.
Then, there are the amazing stories:
… a veteran, Ph.D professor looking for a position in the business world is greeted by a recruiter who leans back in the chair and begins the interview with, “So, WOW me!”
… a hiring manager about to negotiate salary with a highly accomplished prospective employee who looks at the candidate’s income history and says, “Well, I am about to get you for quite a deal!”
… an employment event targeted at “senior executives seeking new positions” is held at a movie theater where the organizers begin half an hour late, herding the executive attendees like cattle to stand in a cramped area until the organizers get their act together.
… a former CFO who was asked to tell the interviewer what part of the salad he was and why.
These types of stories, and more, create feelings of fear, anger, umbrage, hopelessness and powerlessness in the hearts of many talented and experienced professionals.
Friends and I have discussed this recurring phenomenon. One, a former psychologist, commented on the role of pride in these interactions – the pride of both the interviewers and the interviewees. Interviewers are seeking to inflate their own self images by grandstanding and condescending during interviews; interviewees react defensively and respond by either withdrawing from the interview (figuratively or actually) or by inflating their own accomplishments in order to demonstrate their self worth.
Another friend told me the story of an acquaintance who was preparing a talk for a group of peers. While focusing on how to share his vast knowledge with them, he was inspired by the thought that his talk didn’t need to show how good he was, it needed to focus on showing his audience how good they were!
It occurred to me that we could “change the face . . . “ of human interactions if we could somehow gain confidence from our life experience and accomplishments, put aside our own pride, and focus on how we can help others see how good they are!
During one of our “THRIVING Between Jobs” gatherings, we brainstormed how this might look in reality.
We began to realize that people who ask insulting interview questions really didn’t know how to interview in a way that got them the information they needed to make the most effective hiring decision…and that many of those interviewees who had to answer these insulting questions were highly experienced hiring managers who could help the interviewers in their hiring process by putting their pride aside and bringing the richness of their own experience to the interaction:
… when asked to “WOW me”, we might sit forward enthusiastically and respond: “I would love to! I suspect that, in order to WOW you, I will need to demonstrate to you that I meet or exceed every requirement you have for this position. So, let me begin by confirming with you what you are looking for, then I will tell you how well I satisfy each and every requirement you have!”
… when asked what part of the salad we were, we might smile and say, “You probably want to determine how creative I am and how well I will function as a team member. From that perspective, I would probably be a tomato, which is classified as both a fruit and a vegetable and, therefore, very versatile, functioning in either role depending on what was demanded in a specific situation.”
… when a salary offer is significantly below our past income and the hiring manager is clumsy enough to boast about it, we might inspire them by suggesting, “and it is my intention to prove my value to you and the rest of the organization so that, when the economy improves, you will be eager to reward me with a more appropriate salary”.
Similarly, those event organizers may have been a bit intimidated by hosting such an august group of senior executives. When it was clear that the organizers were in over their heads, attendees might have offered to lend their experience and give them a hand.
Armed with this kind of an attitude, can’t you just wait until you are asked to “WOW me”?!
Question to ponder:
Think of a time in the recent past that you have experienced and undignified “WOW me” situation. Did you respond defensively? How do you feel about the way you handled it? How would you change your response after reading this post?
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