Values and Beliefs in the Workplace - Part 2 in the Morality series

Organizations today can be a lonely place. Filled with anxiety and isolated feelings, the main thrust today is productivity at the cost of individual satisfaction. For individuals, the main focus is "keeping my job" often at the expense of values and beliefs. The fear of loss is felt individually and is an expense to the organization because they lose the creative forces of their employees to fear - fear of losing their position, their job and their livelihood.

According to Porter in 1989, individuals feel a sense of isolation due to the taboo against talking about spiritual matters in the public sphere. Spiritual matters relate not only to a faith-based preference or religion, but are at the heart of our values and beliefs. These spiritual matters help form our satisfaction with ourselves, our work environments, and our relationship with others. By eliminating the discussion about spiritual matters, values, or beliefs, individuals in an organization become vulnerable to the behaviors of the organization. And these behaviors are not always positive. The drivers are often survival and the behaviors are again fear-based, aggressive, and contain little or no values in the process.

What is one to do then when organizational behavior is misaligned with one’s values and beliefs? Porter also asserted that the lack of spiritual matter in the organization "...robs people of courage, of the strength of heart to do what deep down they believe to be right." We spoke back in August about courageous behaviors and how difficult it can be in the present to act with courage. The inspiration for courage to show up is often something that conflicts with our values and the consequences of that courage can be grave for individuals and organizations. If you speak up courageously in an organization, are you banished or celebrated?

According to Kathleen Reardon (HBR, 2009), "In business, courageous action is really a special kind of calculated risk taking. People who become good leaders have a greater than average willingness to make bold moves, but they strengthen their chances of success – and avoid career suicide – through careful deliberation and preparation." By being discerning about how to live our values and beliefs, we can all be courageous workers, leaders, and individuals in our work lives.


Questions to Ponder: Consider what the communication norms are in your organization? Is it worth conforming to these at the cost of your values and beliefs? What bold moves are required to retain or sustain your values and beliefs?

Attitude of Gratitude

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” — William Arthur Ward

As we prepare for the Thanksgiving holiday this week, it seems appropriate to spend some time thinking about Gratitude. With the economic condition we are experiencing right now, it is very tempting to think about what we have lost – perhaps our jobs, our savings, our 401ks and more – or perhaps to worry about what we might lose in the future.

This morning, a friend sent me a special email message. It included the quote at the start of this blog. It also held some pearls of wisdom that I want to share with you:

• Grateful behavior can facilitate positive interpersonal and community relationships.
  
• The expression of gratitude may help one adapt to life's challenges.
  
• Grateful individuals report higher levels of life satisfaction and optimism and greater energy and connections with other people.
  
• Growing evidence indicates that the expression of gratitude can also improve one's physical health and functioning, such as positive changes in an individual's cardiovascular and immune functioning.
  
• People who are generally grateful may tend to live longer lives.

A former business colleague also sent me a note this morning. He ended his note by telling me he hoped that I was doing well “in life, career and faith”. His note made me pause to think about “life, career and faith”. I closed my response to him by saying, "Thank you for asking and helping me to appreciate all that I have during this Thanksgiving week.”

Yes, I have much for which to be grateful!

Consider this:

“Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives as
parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which
secret garden we will tend… when we choose not to focus
on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for
the abundance that is present — love, health, family,
friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits
that bring us pleasure — the wasteland of illusion
falls away and we experience Heaven on earth.”
–Sarah Ban Breathnach

Question to ponder: What are the blessings in your life? What can you be thankful about right now, today?

Daring Greatly - Part 1 of the Morality Series

Back in August, we talked about courage, action vs. inaction, and thinking outside the box. In September, we talked about how the way we treat one another, the way we talk to each other, the messages we share make an impact on the people around us.

The fact is that if we do not have the courage to take action, we cannot make a difference. We will have no chance to “change the world” in which we live.

Back in 1910, Theodore Roosevelt said, in a speech at the Sorbonne, “It is not the critic who counts . . . [not the person] who points out how the strong man stumbles. The credit belongs to . . . [the person] who actually strives to do the deeds; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumphs of high achievement and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly . . .”

His words inspire us to take action, to invest ourselves in a worthy cause. The worst thing we can do is nothing at all.

Pat Lencioni talks about high tech as being one of the most difficult environments in which to live one’s values – the industry is so fast paced with such large dollars at stake. I spent over twelve years in that industry, a period in my life when I was strongly devoted to living my faith. There were many occasions when I was appalled at the way people treated each other, all justified by a fierce focus on getting something done.

For me, I felt the challenge of living my values, which dictated a different behavior from what I was seeing, yet continue to be the team player that my organization needed from me.

The answer came to me one day at a national sales meeting when our leader asked us for ways that we could super-charge our sales results. I asked a question about building a true “sales culture” and was immediately given the task of building one. My first reaction was wondering how I would ever get this done…where would I find the time? Then I realized that this was my opportunity to personally “invest in a worthy cause”.

Many people volunteered to help me with this effort. Our end result included a definition of constructive ways to work together, to ensure that our teams benefited from the points of view of all of its members, to avoid bullying behavior and to help team members learn from their mistakes rather than feeling blamed and at risk. The program we developed was eventually rolled out globally and aspects of it remain in the organization today. As a result, countless people experienced significant improvement in their level of job satisfaction and the company benefited from the improved results that came when each team member is working at full capacity.

This experience told me that I had the ability to affect change in a difficult situation, despite my perception that I had no time or power to change anything.

Question to ponder: What circumstances are you encountering today that are not consistent with your values? What can you do to make a positive change in those circumstances?

Ever Evolving . . .

The past month has been a whirlwind of change for both Janet and me. World travel and additions to our families came at the same time that we each decided to return to school to further enhance our knowledge and perspective.



As we pursue these new directions, we are seeing synchronicity in what the universe is sending to us. Our university studies are bringing us new ways of looking at both our worlds -- professional and otherwise.



We realize that our blog posts to-date have focused on examining our individual selves and how we can make a difference in the world around us. As we look at where our lives have taken us, we realize that we are in a position to dovetail the thoughts we've introduced, our life experience, current events, latest academic thinking and professional application of life lessons.



And so, in the coming weeks, you will see a shift in our blog posts -- a shift to Changing the Face . . . of business, if you will -- with more pointed suggestions and concrete thoughts on what each of us can be doing to make our work worlds the kind of place we want them to be.



Let us know your thoughts on how we can Change the Face . . . of business. As always, your comments and reflections will enhance our message!

A Reason to Pause

In a slight change of pace on discussion, we've taken a short furlough on our blog.



Our last discussion was on life balance but in a "planned" sense. What I realized over the past week were the unplanned events that wreak havoc on the plan for life balance. The main unplanned event I uncovered is "sickness". Our health is something we often take for granted - assuming as long as we have fuel we'll have energy to keep up with life's demands. But what happens when you have the fuel, but your engine just isn't working at the capacity it should?



This is cause for pause in my own world. I tend to run at a rapid pace, if I could go on cruise control it would be at 65 miles per hour, accelerating above that as needed. This phenomena has been referred to as "busy-ness" or as I've heard also as a "Human Doing". When health issues occur, we have to stop doing and start being. The "pause" is our body's way of slowing down. It is during these times that we become human beings again.



Unfortunately (or fortunately), I wasn't the one who was sick this time. My husband came down with the flu and while he paused, I didn't. This caused some mis-communications and misfires as some of the plans we had couldn't be executed. In my "human doing" role, I didn't handle this well. I realized that to manage life balance is beyond our own life, it includes the lives of those closest to us.



Looking ahead, during this flu season with it's uncertainties about strain, mutation, and immunity - consider what you might need to pause if you or someone you know gets infected. From my experience, try to be an understanding "human being" and serve the needs of those around you. For it is in giving that we receive and in understanding that we are understood.



Here is a helpful link with information on Influenza versus a Common Cold.
http://www.flufacts.com/about/cold.aspx



May you be filled with good health and time for just plain being.



Questions to Ponder:
If you are caught up in "doing", what could you do today to "be" more?
What can you do to ensure your health is prepared to handle an infectious attack?
What can you do to help those around you handle an infectious attack?

Life Balance

In considering Rosemarie's post on choosing happiness, it made me think about having balance in life in order to make such a choice. I don't know about our readers, but life just seems to be getting more and more hectic. The long, lazy days of summer seem to end up in the screaming-fast days of autumn. School picks up, 4th quarter work seems to be more intense, community life has more needs, and yet we are called to choose and balance all of it. Then to top it off, the sun goes down a little sooner, making our days seem a bit shorter.



What is the key to life balance? In considering what would "change the face" regarding life balance, I think it deserves some thoughtful consideration. As we look at our days, are they open with opportunity? Or constrained with tasks? I can tell you that I see life as somewhat constrained on a typical day. Yet what about the great inventors who spent hours considering, hypothesizing, and creating new ideas and solutions - was their time constrained? Or did they look at life and work as an opportunity.



I recently uncovered a poem written by a Zen Buddhist that I used to keep near my desk while I was in the hectic corporate world. It seems to sum up "balance" quite well.



The Master in the Art of Living makes little distinction between
his work and his play,
his labor and his leisure,
his mind and his body,
his education and his recreation,
his love and his religion.
He hardly knows which is which.
He simply pursues his vision of excellence in whatever he does,
leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing.

To him he is always doing both.


May your days be filled with opportunity and may your friends, coworkers, and family need to decide if you are working or playing!


Questions to Ponder:
What balance do you need in your life right now, today? Can you, and do you, distinguish between work and play? What opportunities are you willing to look at like an inventor to seek a creative solution?

Happiness is a Choice

"People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be." Abraham Lincoln

Looking at life through a child's eyes . . . wouldn't life be different if we could truly do that? Children seem to look for a reason to be happy (okay, I'm choosing not to think about temper tantrums when they don't get what they want!) I'm thinking about the joy a child expresses when someone they love walks in the door, or the excitement they show over petting a horse or seeing a beautiful flower.


It makes me think how much of happiness is really the personal choice to be happy.


I remember one morning not too long ago, during Prayers of the Faithful at daily Mass, a woman I’d never seen before prayed for her son-in-law who was out of work. Her prayer was lovely: “May he be filled with the love of Christ, may he find happiness during this time between jobs and may he have faith that this period will end.” Well, I could not have authored a more apt prayer!

After Mass, she approached me to say “hello”. I couldn’t help myself – I had to tell her about the group that I host in my home on Monday mornings. Our name is “THRIVING Between Jobs” and our purpose is to help people emotionally and spiritually while they are between jobs.

I told her how we pray for each other, both on Monday mornings and during the week, that we realize that these days of unemployment are days of our lives like any other; that we can serve God’s purpose and that we can experience great joy.

We talked about loss – that losing one’s job is not the worst thing that can happen. That there are far worse things than losing one’s home … like losing a child, losing a marriage, losing a spouse, and more.

She was such an inspiration to me. She reminded me that being happy is a choice, just as being miserable is a choice. And the secret to being happy is to embrace an attitude of gratitude. I can’t tell you how many times I have said these very things to my own children, and hearing it again from this woman was so encouraging to me!

Happiness is a choice . . .
Attitude of Gratitude . . .
This moment is a day in our lives, whether we are employed are not . . .

Question to Consider: How can we make the choice to be happy, right now, in this very moment? In what moments are we choosing misery? How is that turning out?

Through a Child's Eyes

Last Sunday at Mass we heard the Gospel regarding seeing life through a child's eyes. Of course, there was more to the gospel than just that, but that was the part that pressed on my heart. My husband and I have just finished gaining custody of our 2 1/2 year old niece Brianna. It has been a long journey and a difficult, emotional one at times, but it all worked out. The day after our court hearing, we traveled back from New York where the baby was, home here to California. On our flight, Brianna was not afraid of the turbulence. Instead, she was excited at the "bumpy clouds" and wanted "more bumpy clouds". This child-like view of life is one I think worthy of writing about.



How many times have we had fear in our lives because we see things through our "experienced" eyes? Our perceptions become so based on our past experiences that we can't see the present moment of the experience. Our perceptions and interpretations become clouded through our positive and negative experiences, to the point that, we can't see the actual moment for what it is. Eckhart Tolle, the author of The Power of Now and A New Earth calls this "presence". He describes it as being in the present moment such that you can see the thoughts of your past experience playing through in your mind. One of the things I always try to pay close attention to is the song of the birds outside. I am often keenly aware of when I don't even hear the birds, yet they are singing their song regardless.



Questions to Ponder:
Consider how child-like or adult-like we are in reaction to present moments in our own lives. What would it take for you to be child-like again, to hear the birds as they sing their song of life?

Extraordinary Circumstances

In considering Rosemarie's post on being present, it made me think about the circumstances we are present to, whether they are ordinary or extraordinary.

What makes certain circumstances extraordinary? We encounter ordinary circumstances each and every day; yet, some circumstances just seem extraordinary. I was recently on a trip to New York where it was asked, as a matter of the court, to define "extraordinary" circumstances. It made me think about how extraordinary differs from ordinary.

Extraordinary occurs when a child takes a first step; extraordinary occurs when you receive a job offer after waiting many months; extraordinary occurs when a teenager and a parent begin to have a meaningful conversation for the first time in months. Then there are the ordinary circumstances. Sitting down in the morning to enjoy a cup of coffee and read through the paper - either online or the old fashioned paper version- seems ordinary. Getting in the car and having it start up each and every morning as you head to school or work or the gym or your church. Seems ordinary, but some days these could be extraordinary!

In leadership for example, extraordinary leaders are really ordinary people being willing to do extraordinary things. The Saints, from the Catholic Church, were ordinary people doing extraordinary work in the name of Jesus. In certain sports we see ordinary people doing extraordinary things. I don't know about you, but I only recently shot a 54 playing 9 holes and Tiger Woods shot a 48 playing 9 holes at age 3! That is extraordinary!

So in our ordinary world - consider what extraordinary things can you do yourself that set you apart from the rest. Let's try to make each circumstance we encounter extraordinary!

Questions to Ponder:
• Identify at least one extraordinary circumstance that occurred each day this week. What made it extraordinary? Who were the people involved?
• What steps can you take to make more of your ordinary circumstances extraordinary?

Present in the Moment

Earlier this week, I was in a meeting, telling them about our last blog about respect. A friend came in and complained that I was not answering my mobile phone; so, she tracked me down in the meeting! She was the second person that day who complained to me that I didn’t answer the phone when they called.

How did we get to the point that we expect people to stop whatever they are doing to take our call? That we believe that a phone call is more important than whatever we are doing at the moment?

In fairness to the person I am with or the task I have at hand, I want to be present in the moment. That means that I turn my phone off (or leave it in the car) and close my laptop so that I am not distracted by calls and email messages that are coming in. I try to listen carefully to what the person(s) I am with have to say and I try to give them what they need from me. When we are through, I check and return calls and messages.

And, if I absolutely must interrupt a conversation because I expect an important call or email (i.e., from a child or critical business associate), I let the person I am with know and apologize in advance. I am loathe to make the person I am with feel that anyone or anything is more important than they are at that moment. I want to show them respect.

Is this such a bad thing?

Question to ponder: What would happen if you let a few calls go into voicemail while you were with someone you cared about? Try it and see what happens to your level of peace and enjoyment in the moment!

Its a Matter of Respect

Like many others, we are appalled by the behavior of Kanye West at the MTV Video Awards last Sunday. Our children are fans of Taylor Swift and were so incredibly disappointed and upset by the utter lack of respect Kanye showed for someone assuming an award; it did not matter that he felt she did not deserve the award. It made us think of the power that artists feel they have in the world - and how they can abuse that power in a simple moment like that.

Two subsequent instances further underscore the lack of respect that our society has come to display: Serena Williams yelling at the referee at the U.S. Open and House Representative Joe Williams yelling "You Lie" to President Obama. Both reflect an utter disdain for the positions that others hold, and the behaviors they justify by their fame and/or perceived honor. It points to an individualism that continues to value "me" over any others and, worse yet, to publicize that narcissistic attitude to the world.

The media that has surrounded this behavior has been helpful in that it has called us to a deeper sense of the impact that these outbursts have on all of us.

Imagine how these instances could have gone very differently had more respectful language been delivered in a spirit of "working together". We are all human beings on this planet and, while we don't always agree with one another, we are called to care for one another and care for our world.

As parents, members of the workforce and community members, we can all use these recent situations to heighten our sensitivity regarding how we communicate with one another, share our opinions and beliefs, and work together to somehow "bring up" those around us. . . or, at least, to avoid bringing others down.

Taylor Swift, as an example, is an amazing young woman doing amazing things with the talents she has been given. She had a humble heart as she began her acceptance speech - that was momentarily stopped as the mean-spirited Kanye ripped the microphone from her hand. How can we use this example to come up with a more acceptable, respectful way to share our opinions and feelings?

We live in a nation that has "Freedom of Speech" as a cornerstone of its constitution. How can we use this cornerstone in the spirit of respect, growth, and ultimately, care for one another?

Questions to Ponder:
• Look at a time in your most recent memory when you could have used the gift of respectful communication with someone you've encountered. Or, perhaps you could have used an experience as a "teachable moment" for those in your family or organization.
• How can communication go differently if we change our perception, our language, our delivery and our respect for others?

Facing the Change

I am writing this post on 9-11. The significance of this day makes me look back each year, look back at how things have changed over the course of my own life and over the course of the past century. The large loss of life on that day in 2001 makes me question, what changes do we need to consider in the "temporary" time we call life?

In today's world of rapid change, are we all really ready to face the change we may need to make in our own lives? We are bombarded each moment by cell phone calls, email on the blackberry or iPhone (or our computers - but that is such old technology!) and now by other social applications such as Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter etc.. We adjust and redirect our lives on the fly based on the latest information we have received. But what about the time tested values of family, friends and a strong work ethic?

If we want to consider how to face the change, we just need to go back in history to a simpler time, when time itself was driven by the broader values of our society and our own values. Imagine living in the 1950s again when family dinner happened every night and the exception was when you had other obligations. I recall my own family life and think back on how different it was. Now, we treasure and plan our once weekly family dinner, with our other evenings filled with sports activities, outside interests, or just eating dinner out.

Let's consider taking on the values of a simpler time, when family life, work life, and individual life was centered, balanced, and consistent. What would our children be doing if we had this more balanced approach? What would they grow up to be? How would they be when they grow up? What changes do we need to face and ultimately make, to live into a more consistent, "alive" future?

Questions to Ponder: What change in your life do you need to make to ensure a more consistent life, aligned with you values, for yourself? For your family? In your workplace?

Pay it Forward

When Janet talked about “Unexpected Outcomes”, I couldn’t help but think about my daughter’s own “Pay it Forward” experience.

You probably remember the movie, “Pay it Forward”. Trevor, a 7th grader fulfilling a homework assignment, allows a homeless man to live in his garage. The man repairs his mother’s car, which inspires her to do a kindness for another who is equally inspired to help someone else … all without expecting anything in return.

This “Pay it Forward” concept, helping others without expecting something in return, trusting that the good we send out to the world by our selfless action will return to us in time, is simple enough. Yet, it has the potential to change the face of the world! Think about it . . . if each of us performed simple acts of kindness solely for the purpose of helping another, possibly a stranger, without expecting anything in return, what chain of good deeds could follow?

My daughter, Theresa’s, experience this summer is an excellent example. She worked in a retail store where her favorite assignment was the Customer Service desk. One day, a woman approached her counter and began by saying, “I probably got the person who checked me out all confused because I was buying gifts off of several registries.”

Theresa immediately assumed the woman was going to complain about some mistake one of her co-workers had made and tensed herself for the conversation. Not so – my daughter was in for quite a surprise!

The woman continued, saying, “You see, she didn’t charge me for one of the items. By the time I realized this, it was too late for me to come back because I had to get these gifts to my friends. Do you think I can go find the item and pay for it now?”

After recovering from her surprise, Theresa helped the woman and completed the transaction … with an air of awe!

Now comes the “Pay it Forward” part. When Theresa told me the story, she began by saying, “This is something you would do, Mom.” I was flattered, but had to be honest. She was right, I always make sure I pay properly … when I catch a checker’s error at the store; that is, when it is convenient for me. I don’t know that I would have gone out of my way as this woman did.

My candor created quite a conversation with my daughter and my niece, who was also part of the conversation. All three of us concluded that, thanks to the inspiration of this woman, we all will now do the same in the future.

Better yet, when Theresa told her story to friends the night we moved her into her new apartment, they all were similarly inspired. This woman, a stranger to all of us, has effectively influenced at least eight people through Theresa’s telling of her action. And now, we are all “Paying it Forward”!

Questions to Ponder: Have you ever been the recipient of selfless kindness from another? How did it make you feel? Were you inspired to do the same? When have you been the one to “pay it forward”? How did it make you feel?

Desirable Results & Unexpected Outcomes

Does thinking outside the box produce desirable or undesirable results? In thinking about Rosemarie's friend with the GUD job offer, it made me think that sometimes that "box", whether you are inside or out, almost always produces some result - it's just a matter of them being desirable or undesirable. For example, look at the success of thinking outside the box that Apple had with the iPod. The music device broke through the typical media of CDs (or cassette tape) and has become the most popular personal music device on the worldwide market and it's capacity and capability continues to grow. This was clearly a desirable result for Apple.

Then, there are examples of thinking outside the box producing undesirable results or unexpected outcomes. Burger King and their ad team did a strange commercial last year with the King hanging out with some scantily clad women. While they may have been trying to appeal to the "younger generation", their inappropriate ad caused boycotts and many families forced the ad to be removed from local channels. I'm sure they paid an undesirable price and achieved an undesirable result from that campaign.

But those are big companies, right? What about the results we want to achieve in our own lives? One of the best tools for thinking outside of the box about results is called "visioning". It's usually a meditative or facilitated exercise where you imagine a situation in the future. I like to look out to a 3-5 year window and imagine what things look like with a desirable result in place. Then, you work back and begin to write out the steps it would take to produce that result. In addition to the steps, adding details and colorful reality helps to make the result more tangible and real. The visioning exercise, and the associated work-back plans, typically produce a desirable result.

Of course just having a plan does not set it into action. One must begin to communicate it, request help, and in some cases, take bold steps to move it forward. Then, typically there are some unexpected positive outcomes along the way. You may find someone who is in an industry that you are trying to step into. Or, an opening for dialogue in an area that you are interested in. All manner of unexpected outcomes are possible when we begin to communicate the things that are most important to us. Look at the recent news where Jaycee Lee Dugard was finally located - this was an unexpected outcome from a routine missing person plan that was generated out of dialogue with the Berkeley police. I praise God that this young girl has been reunited with her family and can begin to establish her plan for herself and her family.

Questions to ponder: What are your plans for your future, 1 year from now, 3 years from now, or 5 years from now? What are you doing to move these forward to produce a desirable result? What unexpected outcomes have you experienced recently from dialogue and communication with others? What face would change as a result of your vision?

Thinking Outside the Box

Talk about taking action! Janet's call to action in our last post made me think of the story of a friend of mine.

We all know far too many people who have been out of work for far too long. Urban legends abound of job fairs with all too few employers with a handful of jobs being besieged by out of work candidates who have waited in line for hours to talk with an employer.

Clearly, we are going to need to think outside the box to differentiate ourselves . . . or to take advantage of opportunities that do come our way.

My friend's story demonstrates this very well. The dream opportunity came her way: a perfect match for her skillset and a rate that, amazingly, would actually meet what she was worth. The only snag was that it was a “GUD” – Geographically UnDesireable. This dream job is a 90-minute commute from her home; and that is without traffic!

Now, most people I know would not have looked any further. They establish the geography that they can work within and confine their search within those borders. Oh, they may stretch and try to negotiate a virtual office situation in which they work remotely from home; but, if that doesn’t fly, they don’t pursue the job.

Not this friend. She and her husband decided they would embark on an adventure during this strange time. She immediately began looking for a tent/trailer and a place to park it. If she gets this job, she will get to enjoy the novelty of living and working in a new area for awhile and, after 25 years of being together, she and her husband will renew the romance and excitement of living apart during the week and seeing each other on weekends.

Now, that is what I call thinking outside of the box … and learning to THRIVE during difficult times!

Question to ponder: How could you be thinking "outside the box" in your own situation? What resources do you have to help you create new approaches or solutions in your life?

Action or Inaction

As I was thinking about Rosemarie's post on deposits and withdrawals, I had a number of items going through my mind and tried to sift through them to uncover what was the one thing I wanted to write about. I thought of the things happening in our world, the things happening in my world, the things that aren't happening in our/my world, etc.. I wanted to post some thoughts for us to consider on where we, as collective humans, deposit and withdraw in the happenings in our world.

I decided to challenge our thoughts about action and inaction in relation to deposit and withdrawal. There are things that we are easily called to action to that we enjoy or are typically deadline-driven. For example, it could be very easy to be called to take a bike ride or browse Facebook. These are actions we might enjoy. As for deadline-driven, that's pretty simple - we are called to get up and work, or get up and look for work. We are called to register our kids for school, get kids to school, go to meetings, finish up coding activities to meet a milestone, manage a project schedule. These are actions we might not enjoy, but all consume our precious time and resources, they are typically in the withdrawal category.

But, then there are things we are called to that we choose not to act on or deposit into. For whatever reason, we may have a thought to join a group that is protesting or challenging something we feel strongly about. This will almost always mean we have to make a deposit to that particular cause. The causes are many these days. On the societal front, we may be called to serve the poor, help the homeless, visit the sick, protect the unprotected or marginalized. On the political front, we may be called to challenge political views regarding public healthcare, or education funding, or protection for children (abused, neglected, forgotten about). On the familial side, we may be called to help a sister or brother who is unemployed, help raise our grandchildren/nieces/nephews, support our aging parents as they battle a variety of illnesses. As I said, the causes are many.

The big question to look at is whether we fear action or we fear inaction? I love the saying "Think Globally, Act Locally". It gives me some purpose in pursuit of those things closest to home that I like to act on. Its easy to care for my family when they are sick, or to help a friend who is unemployed. But, to look at that bigger picture and consider who I need to be to really make a difference and change the face of some of these situations scares me to inaction. How many times have I invisibly thrown up my arms and said "nothing will change", yet I haven't really faced any possibilities of making that difference. That then makes me fear action.

And if I were to act at a bigger level with a bigger purpose, then I would have to take personal responsibility for a better outcome, or worse, for a failed attempt. Hence the fear of inaction - that truly nothing will get better for us or for the generations to come.

I was reminded this week of the "Serenity Prayer" God, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference. It makes me think of where I need serenity, courage and wisdom in my actions and my inactions...

All of this has brought me back full circle to our current series of Blogs: We only have one life, am I living my dash with purpose? What courage do I need to face these big attempts? Do I have enough in place to step forward? Am I willing to Wow the world, Wow myself and truly make a difference and "change the face"?

I invite all readers of this blog to post a comment about those bigger things that you think should be looked at. I promise you it won't be a commitment that you will be forced to take action on - just start a collective dialogue with others to see where it might lead.

Questions to ponder: What are the areas you are in "inaction" about in your life that will truly make a difference - in your world, in your local world, in the bigger world? What presses on your heart that you think needs to have a "changed face"?

Making Deposits

Janet’s post about acknowledging our strengths and the strengths of those around us made me think about a training class I took when I was a new leader. The coursework made an analogy between leadership and managing a bank account that Steven Covey was to use years later: just as you cannot make a withdrawal from a bank account until you have made sufficient deposits into that account, you cannot expect subordinates to be receptive to your criticism (your “withdrawals”) until you have made sufficient “deposits” by recognizing what they are good at and the contribution they are making.

So often leaders, in the workforce or in a family, focus on the mistakes of others, believing that, in doing so, they are helping them to improve and become better. What may happen, instead, is that people become resentful of the person finding fault in them, sometimes arguing the point rather than seeking to improve.

When the leader takes the time to really get to know a person, realize how important their contribution is and come to know what their strengths are, then acknowledges those strengths and contributions, the leader builds a foundation of trust and credibility. When the time comes to examine areas of growth and improvement, the person is much more receptive to the input, believing that the leader understands his/her strengths and is truly striving to help him/her to improve and grow.

Questions to ponder: Are you making enough deposits into those around you? Or are you, with best intentions, jumping too quickly into “constructive” criticism?

Wow Yourself!

I found this quote regarding strengths: “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”

In considering how to WOW others, it is first important to WOW yourself. This takes time and insight that some people get to somewhat naturally, while others seem to struggle with. I believe its a matter of patience and quest. If you are on a quest to fix your weaknesses, your strengths will never be readily apparent. If, on the other hand, you are on a quest and open to finding your strengths - you will have true power as it says above.

Recently I have been going through a certification process to become a Strengths Coach. The method and model are part of a program from Gallup (yes the pollsters) who acquired the model and assessment from the late Dr. Donald Clifton. The premise is that when we apply knowledge and skill to our God-given talents, we are far more effective and powerful than when we try to fix our weaknesses.

In many ways, as human beings, we have a hard time not focusing on our weaknesses. How many times have you been offered compliments on an outstanding job and a simple criticism/room for improvement on the same job. What is the thing we go to bed laboring over in our minds? The criticism/room for improvement comment. While it's important to always be in a state of continual improvement as a human being, we should not work to become perfect at everything. If we focus on our strengths and look for others to help us address our weaknesses - we will be most effective in whatever role/job/position we are in.

When we look at "Changing the Face...", what if we looked at our strengths and applied those in our world? Rather than reacting to the potential insecurities that others have with their own weaknesses, let's acknowledge what they are good at. This may seem extremely obvious, but we don't tend to do this in our conversations. As a parent, we always strive to acknowledge what our children are good at. Then as adults, we might assume that others "have this all figured out" and don't necessarily need to be acknowledged for their strengths. Not so - we all LOVE to know when we've done a good job, it allows for the pride and job of knowing you made a difference to shine through your being.

Why not start today by acknowledging your own strengths and acknowledging the strengths in those around you. You will shine and others will shine and we will all regain our power during this tumultuous times.

If you are interested in taking the Gallup assessment and identifying your Top 5 Themes of Strength, simply purchase one of the Gallup books StrengthsFinder 2.0, Living Your Strengths (Catholic Edition), or Strengths-Based Leadership. Each book has an individual code that is used for the online assessment that you take to uncover your areas of talent/strength. If you need any support, please let me know and I'm happy to help.

Questions to ponder: What do you love to do? Is there a particular strength that you have that you have compromised in search of a weakness to fix?

Who in your family/community can support you in developing your strengths and helping you shine? Who can you help shine today?

WOW Me!

As I was considering the questions Janet posed in our last post about having the courage to do what we need to do, I began to think about the many people who are between jobs right now and the courage it takes to face the difficult situations that are now part of our careers.

This era of economic collapse and gross unemployment is ripe with surprisingly inappropriate behavior.

It is commonplace for people who are between jobs to talk with hiring managers and recruiters alike, then never hear from them again … to place follow-up calls or email messages and receive no response. It could be argued that the sheer volume of people looking for work is so great that those in a position to hire don’t have the bandwidth to respond. I’d like to think that, when I was in that position, I would not have treated others this way; but, it is perhaps understandable.

Then, there are the amazing stories:

… a veteran, Ph.D professor looking for a position in the business world is greeted by a recruiter who leans back in the chair and begins the interview with, “So, WOW me!”

… a hiring manager about to negotiate salary with a highly accomplished prospective employee who looks at the candidate’s income history and says, “Well, I am about to get you for quite a deal!”

… an employment event targeted at “senior executives seeking new positions” is held at a movie theater where the organizers begin half an hour late, herding the executive attendees like cattle to stand in a cramped area until the organizers get their act together.

… a former CFO who was asked to tell the interviewer what part of the salad he was and why.

These types of stories, and more, create feelings of fear, anger, umbrage, hopelessness and powerlessness in the hearts of many talented and experienced professionals.

Friends and I have discussed this recurring phenomenon. One, a former psychologist, commented on the role of pride in these interactions – the pride of both the interviewers and the interviewees. Interviewers are seeking to inflate their own self images by grandstanding and condescending during interviews; interviewees react defensively and respond by either withdrawing from the interview (figuratively or actually) or by inflating their own accomplishments in order to demonstrate their self worth.

Another friend told me the story of an acquaintance who was preparing a talk for a group of peers. While focusing on how to share his vast knowledge with them, he was inspired by the thought that his talk didn’t need to show how good he was, it needed to focus on showing his audience how good they were!

It occurred to me that we could “change the face . . . “ of human interactions if we could somehow gain confidence from our life experience and accomplishments, put aside our own pride, and focus on how we can help others see how good they are!

During one of our “THRIVING Between Jobs” gatherings, we brainstormed how this might look in reality.

We began to realize that people who ask insulting interview questions really didn’t know how to interview in a way that got them the information they needed to make the most effective hiring decision…and that many of those interviewees who had to answer these insulting questions were highly experienced hiring managers who could help the interviewers in their hiring process by putting their pride aside and bringing the richness of their own experience to the interaction:

… when asked to “WOW me”, we might sit forward enthusiastically and respond: “I would love to! I suspect that, in order to WOW you, I will need to demonstrate to you that I meet or exceed every requirement you have for this position. So, let me begin by confirming with you what you are looking for, then I will tell you how well I satisfy each and every requirement you have!”

… when asked what part of the salad we were, we might smile and say, “You probably want to determine how creative I am and how well I will function as a team member. From that perspective, I would probably be a tomato, which is classified as both a fruit and a vegetable and, therefore, very versatile, functioning in either role depending on what was demanded in a specific situation.”

… when a salary offer is significantly below our past income and the hiring manager is clumsy enough to boast about it, we might inspire them by suggesting, “and it is my intention to prove my value to you and the rest of the organization so that, when the economy improves, you will be eager to reward me with a more appropriate salary”.

Similarly, those event organizers may have been a bit intimidated by hosting such an august group of senior executives. When it was clear that the organizers were in over their heads, attendees might have offered to lend their experience and give them a hand.

Armed with this kind of an attitude, can’t you just wait until you are asked to “WOW me”?!


Question to ponder:
Think of a time in the recent past that you have experienced and undignified “WOW me” situation. Did you respond defensively? How do you feel about the way you handled it? How would you change your response after reading this post?

Courage – courageous or frightening?

“Courage”, reminds me of the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz. We all need courage, but it’s the coward in each of us that fears what having courage might bring. Courage is not the absence of fear as many might think. In fact, we should be careful about praying for courage, since God typically gives us far more to be frightened of so that we can take action using the gift of courage in the face of that fear.

In a world of considering our future and questioning if we have enough, perhaps we don't sense that we need much courage, or at times we may feel we need way more courage than we think we have.

We probably don't think much about the courage needed to go apply for a job in a new field or to have that first interview after working for the same company for 10+ years. But an immense amount of courage is needed each time we craft an email stating our qualifications and prepare to hit the send button, or picking up the phone to try to reach someone in our network that we haven't spoken to in years. In these times of economic change, courage is needed far more than we think. Courage isn't a matter of experience like our job skills are, it's a present-state attitude and behavior. Like the Cowardly Lion, we aren't born with courage, we generate courage at the times we need it most.

Sometimes a simple conversation with someone you love – be it a parent, a child, a spouse, a dear friend – where you may not agree or might have an unresolved issue with, requires immense courage. I know times when I need to speak with my daughter about something that will put us in conflict I get quite anxious and nervous. I get a little sweaty in my palms just thinking about the possible outcomes. It's then that I need to generate courage, call forth courage and be "courageous" as a result.

Questions to ponder: Consider times in your life where you have needed courage – what was the fear behind it? Did your courage ultimately overcome the fear?

As we look at the fears in our lives, what amount of courage will it take to overcome? And are we willing to ask for and generate courage?

"Enough"

As I was reading Janet’s post, “Thinking about the Future”, I looked up on my wall and saw an adage a dear colleague gave me years ago. I liked it so well at the time that I put it on my office wall and have never taken it off!

It goes like this:

I WISH YOU “ENOUGH”:

Enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
Enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
Enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
Enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
Enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
Enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
Enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye."

What I like about this is that it forces me to think about two things: 1) the fact that all I need is “enough”, I don’t need plenty, and 2) that we need negatives to appreciate the positives in our lives.

On the first point, we Americans have been raised to always strive for more … more money, more things, more collectibles, more activities, more … always more. And I wonder what the “pursuit of more” has cost us. It occurs to me that our national “pursuit of more” may very well have something to do with the economic collapse we are suffering today . . .

On the second point, I hate to admit it, but the sad and difficult experiences in my life have caused me to appreciate – to notice, quite frankly – the happiness and comforts in my life.

When I was a young woman in my mid-twenties, my stepson was killed in a car accident. I adored this boy; his death caused pain and sadness on a level I had never before experienced. During the days that followed his death, I was surrounded by family and loved ones. One moment in particular has soothed me many times since then … there was a terrible rain storm as we drove to the funeral. It was one of the most difficult times of my life, yet, in the midst of my pain, I felt safe and warm in the car with people who loved me and were, at that moment, taking care of me. I had an incredible surge of love and gratitude for the family that had come to our aid. I have since come to realize that the pain of loss heightened my appreciation for the love of those who still lived.

Questions to ponder:
• In what areas of your life are you searching for “more” when you really have “enough”?
• What benefit or learning have you gained from painful or difficult experiences in your life?

Thinking about the Future

In this, the second Blog of our Inaugural Week, I wanted to open a discussion on "future". Thinking now, and thinking ahead about my own future, I often get too far ahead of myself and forget about the current state of what's around me. How often do we look at the upcoming stop sign, and just miss the squirrel, bird or some other form of road debris that is right in front of us?

Future is defined as "...a time that is to be or come hereafter". Future - for myself, for you, for our children, for friends, family, and even our pets. I just read an article about a dog named "Muffy" who was found in Queensland Australia 9 years after she went missing from Brisbane. These 2 cities are 1,200 miles apart! One must wonder what led Muffy to stray so far from her present state that many years ago. What future did she wander to?

As we launch our Blog about Changing the Face, I want to post a poem I located several years ago. It very much speaks to our future - and our present - called Living the Dash.

Living the Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates on her tombstone

From the beginning...to the end.

He noted that first came her date of birth

And spoke the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years. (1934-1998)

For that dash represents all the time

That she spent alive on earth...

And now only those who loved her

Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;

The cars...the house...the cash,

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard...

Are there things you'd like to change?

For you never know how much time is left,

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what's true and real,

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,

And more often wear a smile.

Remembering that this special dash

Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy's being read

With your life's actions to rehash...

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?

Author Unknown

Question to ponder: As we all consider our -dash-, what is the thing that YOU want to be remembered for? For me, well, I think I need not look too far in the future, for what I can change is right in front of me today...

Welcome to our Inaugural Blog!

We hope you come to enjoy reading our messages and give us your thoughts often.

Our purpose in writing this BLOG is to inspire others to begin thinking differently, to look through a different window, if you will. Our goal is to empower each of us as individuals to take personal action that will make a difference. We are in no way promoting any political or dogmatic point of view.

The world is at a point in history like none other. Decisions made in the recent past have brought us to a point in which many of us are without jobs and have lost our homes, our savings and our retirement accounts. Our children’s generation may be the first in modern history who will not be better off than the previous generation.

We can look at all this with a sense of despair and gloom

. . . or we can see this point in time as an opportunity to create fundamental change;

to look clearly at what decisions may have led us to where we are;

and to become agents for change so that we leave our children with a better way of life!

And so, in this BLOG, we will examine those various decisions and talk about the things that each of us can do, on a daily basis, to CHANGE THE FACE …

…of business in America
…of education in America
…of leadership
…of hope in young people

Each of our BLOG postings will include our thoughts as well as questions for you to consider … and to respond to.

We welcome and encourage your comments and feedback…and examples from your own life. Please pass our BLOG on to your friends and families.

Blessings,
Janet and Rosemarie